Fail Spectacularly- Reflection Five

Our class visitors (Peter and Tom) last Thursday discussed failure and how failure is viewed in such a negative light, but yet we learn so much and grow so much from the act of failing. In fact, we learn MORE from failing than we do succeeding in most cases. I can’t say that this is the first time I have thought about failing in positive terms, but I will say that I needed a reminder that we are rhetorically trained to believe that not getting the expectations that we set ourselves up for isn’t a win in another way.

As cliché as it sounds, I have always been a big believer in things happening for reasons. My faith guides me to believe that way, as does my general outlook on life. And from what I have experienced, there is merit in that statement. From relationships to professional changes, to where I went to college, I can look back and easily see times when in the moment I felt disappointed by the hand life had dealt me. In hindsight, these setbacks were not setbacks at all. In each situation, I learned and I grew.

I am not a huge country music fan, but having lived in the south for long enough it seems kind of unavoidable. I have learned to appreciate certain artists and certain songs. One song that comes to mind is a song by Garth Brooks (an artist I don’t really care for) called Unanswered Prayers. It has all the classic requirements of a sappy country song…twang, a broken heart, God, maybe even a pickup truck in there somewhere. Anyhow, it supports the more religious take on this idea. Unanswered prayers aren’t really unanswered- God is answering us but really giving us what we need, it just might not be what we expect. I don’t love the song, but I love the message.

Randy Pausch, author of “The Last Lecture” and well-loved professor at Carnegie Mellon University left a legacy of messages to his children and the world when he shared his final lecture, capturing the best lessons he learned in life. Many relate to risk and failure- and the importance of taking chances in order to make your life fuller. One quote that I really like is “Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted”. Randy encouraged risk-taking, especially with his students. In fact, he even offered a reward to the team of students within his robotics class that took the biggest risk and failed. It was titled “The First Penguin Award” because the first penguin who jumps in the water risks the water being too cold, predators, etc. He gave stuffed penguins to the team who jumped off and failed first because as Randy says “It is better to fail spectacularly than do something mediocre”.

Ironically, a certain failure has been the concentration of much of my life right now. I don’t necessarily view it that way, but my boyfriend does. Currently, we are trying to sell our house and unfortunately, it isn’t selling. It’s not in a good area of town and the mortgage is a major drain on us. The house is in his name, so perhaps our differing ideas of failure are because of the impact is different for both of us. Steve gets infuriated with himself for having made this investment five years ago, when the economy was different. The thought of walking away from it and tanking his credit is an unimaginable failure, that someone who is meticulous about their expenses cannot fathom. For me, it’s a temporary setback, but not a failure. I have tried to help Steve see it as something aside from a personal failure, but he is having a hard time letting go of his lifelong view of being fiscally responsible. I don’t expect that he will ever see a short sale or a foreclosure as a good thing, but I also wish he didn’t view that outcome as a failure either.

I think it takes someone with a really positive outlook on life to face problems and see them as opportunities. Furthermore, our individual experiences (our social construction of reality) speaks to what we as individuals view as major failures. While money management and success have been values that Steve was taught to uphold, I was taught to value the importance of family and personal relationships. Additionally, my faith- or general belief that things have a way or working out reminds me that falling isn’t always failing

All I Really Need to Know in Life I learned in Kindergarten- Reflection Four

Sharing, a simple idea learned in preschool- and before in our very homes with our siblings, neighborhood friends, and closest kin. From crayons to time with mom, we learn that sharing is a necessary part of life. And if you can't share, you go to time out; and there you will sit left thinking about your own selfishness and how to be a better friend, sister, or neighbor. It's a lesson we are all familiar with and can witness in every setting that hosts multiple small children. Adults are always pressing the issue..."you need to learn to share".

Are we as adults setting a good example for the small children who receive our message of being kind and using resources wisely? At what point are you old enough to not have to share? Does making your own money mean you don't have to share? Why is it that when our resources are most plentiful, we seem less apt to share?

Sadly, I think our fears- fears of not having enough, fears of having our hard-earned resources taken away, fears of the empowering the unworthy with our resources, our food, our homes scare us. Sharing should and could be a powerful answer to unnecessary consumerism and the divide between the haves and the have-nots.

Slowly, a sharing movement is upon us. The ZipCar, tool lending libraries, and office hoteling are some examples of how we as greedy adults are beginning to learn to share our resources. There are more possibilities of sharing on the rise- even with strangers under ones own roof.

I'm refreshed to communities rallying around the aforementioned efforts. Our identities should not be tied to "stuff". In recent years, we have given into identities based on the brands of clothes we wear, kinds of cars we drive, and the neighborhoods we live in. Fears have been manifested into extreme consumption that has all but eclipsed our identities as individuals who think, act, and feel on our own, but work together and support our communities.

It's far time we simplify our lives, do away with the pressures to "keep up with the Jones"- or the Kardashians for that matter, and to take care of each other's basic needs. We owe it to ourselves to get back to sharing our crayons and being kind to our neighbors.

Where is the Fun? Creativity and Innovation- Reflection Three

After the class trip to Area Fifteen last Tuesday and the readings by Foster on getting ideas, I began to realize the void of a creative outlet that I have in my life. While reading through Foster's list of office activities that he has employed to create a sense of fun (things like chili cook offs, darts in the break room, and craft fairs) I found myself envious of working in an office- or an industry that allows for fun.

Everyday I go to work in black dress pants or a skirt, wearing a button-down blouse or a cardigan. Sometimes I get crazy and wear metallic heels. However, my professional life is complete fun-less. We have a holiday potluck lunch once a year, but that is the extent of the fun that is acceptable in my workplace.

Needless to say, the people I work with don't seem happy. In fact, everyone seems annoyed, stressed, and burnt out. Sadly, banking does thrive off of creative juices like advertising and marketing do, but still we should invite in some fun. Granted, for some of my colleagues, the thrill of deadlines and the corporate culture excites them. As for me, not so much.

I am left trying to decide if I can infuse some fun time and expressive creative opportunities into my personal life, which could satisfy my creative deficiency. Or, is there something more wrong here. Am I in the right career? Probably not. As Tom Peters says "The number one premise in business is that it need not be boring or dull. It ought to be fun. If it's not, you're wasting your life.

Unfortunately, I think I am wasting my life. I just don't know what else to do. Perhaps if I give myself some time and some tools to tap into how to live my passion, the answers will come. Until then, I'll be wearing my metallic heels M-F to add some life to my otherwise dull work routine.

Passion in the Plans- Reflection Two

When thinking about my passion, I find myself a little stumped. I don’t know that I have hobby or interest that is tangible per say. I’m relatively inartistic and unathletic. When passion comes to mind I associate it with people who are tremendously devoted to their craft- and likely successful. I have things that I enjoy doing, but it took some time to unearth where my passion lies.

Overall, I am most passionate about caring for people. It’s seen most often in the way I show my love for my loved ones. I enjoy being a provider and a pleaser. I love cooking and believe in sharing love through feeding people. When my friends are sick, I have been known to make soup, drop of medicine, and deliver movies and magazines. I tend to try to give creative and thoughtful gifts.

Other examples of my passion for taking care of people can be seen in my volunteerism for those around me. I happen to be decent at crafting resumes, so I volunteer myself to assist with resume improvements…same with letters of recommendation and cover letters. I have a small cult of people who come to me for my professional writing services on a regular basis. While I could ask for repayment for my time, I genuinely enjoy the effort it takes and couldn’t think of being paid.

The most obvious example of my passion is evident in my planning efforts. My friends don’t call me CPG for nothing. From everything from happy hours to cross country trips, I adore the ability to plan things for the people around me. I usually enjoy participating as well- I mean, it’s not that fun to plan a party you can’t attend. Anyhow, it’s probably somewhat due to my control freak nature, but sometimes I find myself energized and unable to sleep with the thought of planning a big trip, or a wedding. My mind thrives off of the challenge of giving people a memorable time.

While I wouldn’t generally call myself a “creative” person, I can channel creativity in my planning. Whether it’s through a clever poem on a baby shower invitation or organizing an entire themed party, my brain tends to think creatively when it means pleasing others.

All this to say that I should probably be a professional party planner. I admit, the idea entices me, however, I think being a travel agent would be more thrilling. Mapping out days worth of itineraries is probably the most exciting thing I could think of. Sadly, the internet has all but killed the travel agent industry. I should probably think of a innovative way to offer travel plans outside of the typical online box, like Expedia and Travelocity do. I will have to give it some thought and see how I might be able to live my passion and make a living at the same time. Until then, I will get my kicks from planning my own trips and enjoying them myself.

Creativity and Innovation: Reflection One

Before two years ago, I might have built an elaborate case about how human and digital connectivity are different. Considering what I know now- and how I know humans use computer mediated connectivity, I would say that there isn't much difference. Humans are using digital means to keep connected, for their personal and professional lives.

I have friendships that are solely kept alive via digital communication. Without the applications and tools, the relationship would not exist. Similarly, I have coworkers who work in London, Sao Paolo, Tokyo and other far away places. We carry on virtual relationships. If I am lucky, I might see them in person one time per year. However, on a day to day basis we keep connected via email, phone, instant messenger, and teleconference. If my employer were to cut off all digital capabilities, my relationships with my colleagues would be non existent. The communication is the relationship.

All this to say that I rely heavily on digital comm.. I would consider myself pretty tapped into being connected. What began for me as a simple way to send fun messages to my friends through MySpace has become the backbone of my relationships....even with elderly relatives. I can't say that I am very tech savvy, but that is the irony in modern times. Being a computer geek has never been so cool, but there is no requirement to be geeky to communicate.

Unfortunately, the downside of human relationships is that those humans who cannot afford, or aren't privy to modern technology are alienated from connectivity with others. Modern communication draws a heavy line between the haves and the have nots. It's a fact that makes me quite sad- and feel a sense of guilt about privilege. I know this is not something I personally have caused or could prevent, but nonetheless, I hope that somehow we as humans work against marginalizing our fellow man- and woman.